Top Book List

This is the final installment of  the Teachers of Good Things series. It's been a lot of fun, hasn't it? I really appreciate the six other women, and three men who were willing to join me for the interviews. I undertook this project as a ministry to others, but I had no idea how much I would learn in the process! I thank each of you for being willing to be open.

The final question of the interviews asked the women to share books that had impacted the way they viewed relationships, singleness, and preparing for marriage. Instead of including this question with each interview, I decided to compile it into a single post. After each book is the name of the woman who recommended it, sometimes a commentary on why, and the link to her interview.

While I have not read all of the 18 books listed, I've read the majority of them and I believe these are some of the best books available for Christian ladies. I'm looking forward to reading the new ones in the near future. Enjoy!

Single Years

The Good Homemaker

Teachers of Good things is a series of interviews we will be conducting on Tuesdays and Thursdays here at Ruby in the Rough. It is our goal with these interviews to follow the instructions found in Titus 2:3-5 for the "older women" to teach the younger women good things such as: loving their husbands, keeping their home, and conducting themselves with all purity both before and after marriage.


Today Kirsten Apgar is joining us. Kirsten has been married for about 5 years to Chris Apgar, and they live in a cute little home in Northeastern Ohio. Kirsten shares recipes and life at The Good Homemaker.

As a single woman, before a serious relationship, what were some practical things you did to focus more on the Lord and less on guys and romance?

I attended a traditionally structured church all through my church going life until FBLC. They don't tend to teach you how to focus on the Lord before entering a serious relationship, and they certainly don't teach it in Youth Group. So, quite honestly, the thought never occurred to me. I only did what was normal- attended church, Bible study, Sunday school, and read the Bible (on occasion). I'm not proud of the fact that I didn't do anything else other then read one book- I Kissed Dating Goodbye. If I knew half of what I know now, I would have most certainly done things differently.

What steps did you take after you met your future spouse (during dating/courtship/engagement) to keep your focus on the LORD first?

Christopher and I met while both attending college, and while I would love to say that we had a model courtship, I cannot. We were both raised on the coast- I on the East Coast, and he on the West Coast. Two of the more liberal (socially) areas. I had honestly never heard of the concept of courtship until attending FBLC. So we had the traditional dating relationship, and other then attending church and occasionally reading the Bible I did nothing to try and focus on the Lord. I was busy with school, work, and wedding planning, and when I wasn't doing any of that, my head was in the clouds. I wish that we had courted, that I had focused on the Lord more, and that I wasn't working in a stressful job that demanded overtime.

How do you think a single woman should pursue/prepare for marriage?

I think that any woman who wishes to marry should work on knowing how to run a household effectively. That should include how to properly clean the house, menu planning, knowing how to cook (from scratch), and know how to sew (even if it is just basic sewing skills). In my opinion, the home is the husband's castle. It should be clean and comfortable for him, so that he can easily relax after a long day at work.

Women should also have a full understanding of their Biblical responsibilities as a woman and wife. They should know their role as a woman, to be the helpmate and nurturer, as well as what they need to do for their husbands, i.e. submit, and most importantly be able to do just that (this does not come easily to some of us).

In what area were you the least [and/or most] prepared to be a wife?

I was most prepared to be a wife in the area of home economics. I had been watching episodes of Martha Stewart Living since I was in my early teens, reading etiquette books, and working on cooking and baking all along. I also started making my own clothes when I was fifteen. I excel in this area.

I was however seriously lacking in the communication department. I come from a family of people that do not say what they feel, and can be very degrading in how they talk to others. I struggle with these very issues, and if I had paid closer attention to what was important to my future husband, I would have begun working on my communication issues before we got married. Unfortunately I was off in la-la land, and have been working on it for the a good portion of our marriage.

What would you have done differently [and/or what you did] as a single woman to prepare for this?

Let me clarify my communication problems- I have an issue telling people when I'm upset, what I want, and I don't like to be wrong, and therefore I won't answer questions directly if I know I'm wrong. I also build walls and don't easily open up.

I don't like to tell people that I'm upset or if I want something because I don't want to upset them. I'm afraid of making people upset, afraid of rejection, and afraid on confrontation. I also want to please everyone and keep everyone happy. These issues stem from watching my mother and stepfather fight. To put it in perspective- in a large majority of their fights my stepfather would threaten to leave my mother or have fits of rage like jumping up and down on roses in a fit of rage.

These are some hurdles in marriage. Had I known that I had these problems (remember, I was in la-la land), I would have read books, sought help, and certainly prayed about it. These issues were present in our engagement but not in the forefront, and so I never really dealt with it.

What does being a helpmate look like in your marriage?

Being a helpmate for my husband means listening to his day at work. This might not seem like a big thing, but when you're husband does complex mathematical analysis it's not only boring but, well, complex. It also means listening to him when he wants to talk about some of his interests (computers, cars, etc.), helping him with projects around the house, and taking care of the little things he doesn't want to deal with.

What was the biggest surprise to you after marriage?

It is NOT a fairytale after you say "I do." There is a lot of work and no glamor in marriage after your wedding. Marriage is work, and you have to work at it even when you don't feel like it. Hollywood never shows that in the movies.

What is one thing about men you learned after marriage?

This is a little stupid thing, but it's a good point nonetheless. Men don't see a messes or notice some things like women do (unless you marry someone that's anal-retentive or has OCD). You can't fault your man for not taking the garbage out when it's right in front of the door because most likely he doesn't see it there in the first place. It would be like getting mad at a deaf person for not hearing the doorbell ring.

Ask the Men, part 3

Most of the interview questions for Teachers of Good Things came from conversations and emails between myself and the young ladies at my church. As we talked I realized that there were a few questions that could only be answered by men. So, in a slight departure from our norm, I have a few men who have agreed to share their thoughts on these questions.

In the final installment of Ask the Men Jonathan Rhoades will be joining us. His wife, Amanda was the first of the interviews I posted. As his sister, I can certify that Jonathan's faith is lived both publicly and privately. He has quite a sense of humor, but he also has stands out in both his diligence and ability as a peace maker.

What was the first thing that attracted your attention to your future wife?

Oddly enough, I really can’t remember. We’ve known each other for so long, it just kind of happened. We’ve been friends since we were around 13, and the line between friendship and attraction was kind of blurred. Probably one thing that both attracted me to Amanda, and caused me to not take any actions toward her until much later is that I had some very good friends who expressed an interest to her. This both made me not want to step on their toes, but also realize she was a real catch.

A few of the things that did attract me as I got to know her were here caring sprit, her tom boyish tendencies, her constant desire to be a better person and closer to the Lord, and her love of missions. Plus she’s hot. That definitely helps.

Rubber Bands and Binoculars

Teachers of Good things is a series of interviews we will be conducting on Tuesdays and Thursdays here at Ruby in the Rough. It is our goal with these interviews to follow the instructions found in Titus 2:3-5 for the "older women" to teach the younger women good things such as: loving their husbands, keeping their home, and conducting themselves with all purity both before and after marriage.


Today we have Linda Townsend joining us for Teachers of Good Things. Linda is the wife of Tim Townsend, and has two children, Mikayla and David. I got to know Linda a couple months before I got married, and she's been a close friend ever since. I know Linda will always tell me what I need to hear (even if it's different than what I want to hear).

As a single woman, before a serious relationship, what were some practical things you did to focus more on the Lord and less on guys and romance?

Ask the Men, part 2

Teachers of Good things is a series of interviews we will be conducting on Tuesdays and Thursdays here at Ruby in the Rough. It is our goal with these interviews to follow the instructions found in Titus 2:3-5 for the "older women" to teach the younger women good things such as: loving their husbands, keeping their home, and conducting themselves with all purity both before and after marriage.  

Most of the interview questions for Teachers of Good Things came from conversations and emails between myself and the young ladies at my church. As we talked I realized that there were a few questions that could only be answered by men. So, in a slight departure from our norm, this week and last week I had two men who agreed to share their thoughts on these questions.

This week Been Feehan will be joining us. Ben is a close friend of my husband's, and a regular contributor to my husbands website The Gentleman Adventurer.  He and his wife are expecting their first little one, Erin Elisabeth, in early April.

Ben and Jessica

What was the first thing that attracted your attention to your future wife?

Ask the Men, part 1

Teachers of Good things is a series of interviews we will be conducting on Tuesdays and Thursdays here at Ruby in the Rough. It is our goal with these interviews to follow the instructions found in Titus 2:3-5 for the "older women" to teach the younger women good things such as: loving their husbands, keeping their home, and conducting themselves with all purity both before and after marriage.  

Most of the interview questions for Teachers of Good Things came from conversations and emails between myself and the young ladies at my church. As we talked I realized that there were a few questions that could only be answered by men. So, in a slight departure from our norm, this week and next week I have two men who have agreed to share their thoughts on these questions.

We'll be starting with my husband, Richard. Richard writes regularly on an assortment of topics related to Christian manliness at his website, Gentleman Adventurer.

What was the first thing that attracted your attention to your future wife?

That’s a difficult question to answer, since we more or less grew up together. Offhand, I think it was her maturity. Even before I really knew her, I can recall a conversation that I had with my cousin about how mature and level-headed she was. She was fun without being silly, but she was  also level-headed and sensible about things. I think it was that combination of maturity and good humor that I first liked the best about her. Then, as I got to know her more, her passion for the Word of God and for being a godly woman kinda sealed the deal.


What are the main things that you see lacking in single girls today?

Welcome to Grace

Teachers of Good things is a series of interviews we will be conducting on Tuesdays and Thursdays here at Ruby in the Rough. It is our goal with these interviews to follow the instructions found in Titus 2:3-5 for the "older women" to teach the younger women good things such as: loving their husbands, keeping their home, and conducting themselves with all purity both before and after marriage.  

Today I'll be sharing my own thoughts on the interview questions we've been considering the last couple weeks.

Working Together

Teachers of Good things is a series of interviews we will be conducting on Tuesdays and Thursdays here at Ruby in the Rough. It is our goal with these interviews to follow the instructions found in Titus 2:3-5 for the "older women" to teach the younger women good things such as: loving their husbands, keeping their home, and conducting themselves with all purity both before and after marriage.  

Today it is a pleasure to have Amy Cahill joining us for Teachers of Good Things. Amy is married to Brian Cahill, and together they have four children: Lance, Ivy, Flora and Baby E (due to arrive in early April). You can read more about the Cahill family at their family blog, The Cahills.

First love? Jesus.

Teachers of Good things is a series of interviews we will be conducting on Tuesdays and Thursdays here at Ruby in the Rough. It is our goal with these interviews to follow the instructions found in Titus 2:3-5 for the "older women" to teach the younger women good things such as: loving their husbands, keeping their home, and conducting themselves with all purity both before and after marriage.  

This week it is a pleasure to have Melody Preuninger, wife of Donald Preuninger, and mama to two little ones--Danielle and Timothy (Timothy due to make a first appearance in early April). Melody is my husband's older sister, and has been married for about three years now. She blogs at Travelers Together. I have always had a great deal of respect for Melody, and it is an honor to have her join us today.

High School Sweethearts

Teachers of Good things is a series of interviews we will be conducting on Tuesdays and Thursdays here at Ruby in the Rough. It is our goal with these interviews to follow the instructions found in Titus 2:3-5 for the "older women" to teach the younger women good things such as: loving their husbands, keeping their home, and conducting themselves with all purity both before and after marriage. 

Today I am featuring an interview with the woman who has had the greatest impact on my view of marriage--my mother. Having a mom who loves the Lord, honors her husband, and patiently serves her family has been a tremendous blessing to me. As we worked through this interview I realized that she really had a lot more to share than would fit into a single post, so starting in the near future she will be doing a weekly guest post on specific housekeeping topics, following the (general) outline of things that she lists in the fourth interview question.

Focusing on the Lord

Teachers of Good things is a series of interviews we will be conducting on Tuesdays and Thursdays here at Ruby in the Rough. It is our goal with these interviews to follow the instructions found in Titus 2:3-5 for the "older women" to teach the younger women good things such as: loving their husbands, keeping their home, and conducting themselves with all purity both before and after marriage. 


Today I am pleased to feature an interview with Amanda Rhoades, bride of Jonathan Rhoades and new mother to Abigail. Amanda has been a good friend for many years, and married my brother just a few weeks before my own wedding. As Valentines Day is on Tuesday,