A letter

My dear Miss Madelyn Rose,

It is a quarter to 5 on the day of my wedding. I woke up an hour ago and was pretty awake, but I'm getting drowsy now. I may go back to bed at 5:00, but wanted to be sure to have time for one last letter to you before I go and change my name.

You asked in your last letter for me to tell how I was feeling before I get married--I don't remember all your questions, but I will put down what I think you wanted and if you have more questions, feel free to ask!!! :-)

This past week has been busy for me, but not in a hectic way. Though I've been busier than I planned for, it hasn't been in a bad way. Sunday Monday and Tuesday I had long lists of things to do, and I marched down them at a steady, comfortable pace. I did what I could comfortably fit into each day, and didn't stress about the rest of it. Just the fact that I was working steadily but not hectic-ly helped me relax. I've spent time organizing the wedding stuff, getting the final boxes of things out of my room and into the apartment, purchasing the final few items, and making/recieving calls about the wedding. Although I was busy with wedding stuff this week, I count myself successful in my goal of getting the major work done in advance so the final week before the wedding could be restful. It has been.

Richard has a friend in town, Ben, and I've spent time with the two of them nearly every day since Ben got here on Sunday. I went out to dinner with them Sunday after church, Monday they had lunch at my parents house and we attempted to get the marriage certificate (which didn't work), Tuesday we really did get the marriage certificate (which, because Texas has a 72 waiting hour period, means our legal wedding date will actually be September 17, but oh, well). I've really enjoyed spending time with the two of them--and find I like Ben even better in person. :-)

I also have family in town, which has been fun. The kids are even cuter than I remembered--and Caitie is thrilled about being a flower girl (her sister is equally thrilled about being one of the "audience" :P ). They were over a couple of different days, which was quite enjoyable. I wish we had more time together, though.

Wednesday was my day "off" from wedding stuff. The only semi-wedding-planning-crazy stuff I did was program planning in the morning and evening for an hour or so each time. After that (in the morning) Richard, Ben and I went to Costco to pick up most of my wedding flowers. They are soooooooooooooooooo pretty!!! I love just looking at them! We stopped there for hotdogs (I still wouldn't eat a hotdog except in an emergency, but the last few days I've had a hard time remembering to stop and eat at all, so it classified as an emergency). I enjoyed spending the extra time with them. They are so funny together!! After that I went home to drop the flowers off then headed out to my very first ever manicure. It was at a nail salon that does organic/healthy nails, and so the atmosphere (and smell!) was much nicer than other salons. I had my finger nails and toe nails done. It was so nice! They massaged my hands and lower legs as well, and while my feet were done I laid down (it was a recliner chair that went all the way back) with a warm neck wrap. I could feel the little bit of stress I had fading away. It was SO relaxing. While I was there Mary, the lady who has taken care of my flowers, brought the final flowers to me (SUCH customer service!!! Amazing!). It was supposed to be just Daisies, but she threw in orchids, a bouquet of the wedding flowers, and some extra greenery just because she's wonderful like that. I am going to recommend her to ANYONE I know that wants flowers, she is worth the drive--and can even have them delivered to a different store.

I went home after that to deliver the second batch of flowers. I'd planned to spend a quiet evening at the apartment (Richard and Ben were at his parents house), take a bubble bath, curl my hair, do a nice quiet time, and tidy up a bit to help me relax. But my out-of-town family was visiting, and I enjoyed their company so much, and didn't feel as much a need for solitude as I'd expected, so I stayed home and started curling my hair while they were there. Amanda was, in the meantime, doing her job as the Matron of Honor and putting out some little fires for me--I had accidentally forgotten my phone at home, but I'm glad that I did! She's been most helpful. :-)

And that has been my week so far. It's been a good week, a fun and relaxing week.

Grace asked me yesterday if I was feeling tense and stressed, or jittery and excited. I told her I didn't fall into either category--the words that best describe my emotions are Calm, Serene, and Happy. Of course, it is a little strange to think that the nailpolish that I chose yesterday as Sophia Rhoades, will be the same nail polish that Mrs. Richard Rohlin will be wearing in just a few more hours. It's strange to think that after all this long time our waiting will be over. But I'm not afraid or nervous. While today is a very important day in our lives, it is only the public announcement and celebration of a private commitment that happened over a year and a half ago.

I'm sure that as the wedding draws closer I will experience some jitters, which is good and right. It IS a big deal. But I'm confident. I know what we are doing is right and good, I know it is God's will, and I've had 579 days to think it over. I know that Richard is a good man, a kind man, and that he will be good to me. I know he will treat me with gentleness, care and respect. Fear, on my part, is entirely out of place. There is a verse in the Bible, I forget the reference, but it says that "Perfect love casts out fear." I know my love for Richard is far from perfect, but it is all-consuming. Any room for fear is taken up by the great love I have for him.

So far as family members go, they are all over the map with emotions. Dad is grieving the loss of his daughter, though he is happy for me at the same time. Faith is a basket case (or so I've been told). Mr. Rohlin is stressed--I can imagine that Mrs. Rohlin is probably somewhere between Faith and Mr. Rohlin on the emotion scale. Grace is more like me--taking it all in stride, though I'm sure she's cried a bit. Mom is the same way. Josiah is pretty much oblivious. As for Richard, he mentally checked out about a week ago. He's a basket case. I'm really glad that Ben is there for him--I wouldn't want him to be alone this week. It isn't that he is down AT ALL, he's just so incredibly excited and jittery that he hasn't been able to focus on ANYTHING the last week. It sure is a good thing he took the week off work. Chris Griffith promised me that Richard wouldn't be doing any driving the day of the wedding--which is great, I wouldn't want him missing a turn and missing his own wedding!!

Well, it is nearing 7:00 now, and I need to get going on wedding prep. I think that I will print this out and give it to you tonight, oh Miss Deliverer of Letters--you will be able to hand deliver your very own letter. I bet you weren't expecting that!!
:-)

Love,

Sophie

Growl

So, the wedding is less than a week away and I CANNOT find dance music I like. We're only doing two songs, Father/Daughter dance and first dance. Both will be done privately.

But, of course, in order to do them we must have music. And the ONLY songs I can find are contemporary.

It would seem that I'm in the weird situation of not wanting a contemporary one, but still wanting a romantic one (I may be narrow minded, but most classical pieces are either overdone or not romantic).

Anyway, slightly frustrated, but I shall prevail!!!

My Morning

Love

Yesterday I was reading the story of a young woman about my age who's husband was killed in a work accident just 4 months after their wedding. The story was heartwrenching, and made me very grateful for the many hours that my Beloved and I have shared together. I have been reminded from two of my friends in the last year or so to not take any day that he and I share together for granted. We are marrying "till death do us part" but we must remember that "our days are like a vapor."

As I was thinking on this I realized that the thing that I would miss the most if my man and I were ever parted is his absolute acceptance. In my man I have a safe haven for any struggle. He knows intimately every weakness I have, every battle I've fought (even the ones I've lost) and yet he loves me for it. So many times over the years I've confided a weakness in him and expected to be rebuked--but instead he wrapped me in warm, protective love.

Does he encourage me to do the right thing? Yes--always. But sometimes he looks at me and instead of giving me a (well deserved) lecture on doing the right thing, he tenderly loves the wounded part of me and trusts the Holy Spirit to give any conviction that is needed.

That kind of love brings me to my knees with gratefulness and awe. When my man accepts me wholly--the sinful human part with the "struggling to do right" part--it underscores the love that Christ Himself has for me because my man is truly loving me as Christ loves the church.

Is it any wonder that I am so in love?

I will treasure every blessed day the Lord gives me with my Love, and someday we'll both be together with our Greatest Love and will never be parted again!!

Easing up

While I know I'm likely to get laughed at if I say this too loudly, but I expect life is going to slow down over the next 14 or so days. I think the laughter would only grow stronger if I were to confide that not only do I expect the days to be gradually less filled as the wedding draws closer, but I also believe the emotional drama has reached its climax, and will begin to ebb from now on. 

Before you laugh (or once you stop, I can wait), let me explain my reasoning.

First, unlike most weddings that happen solo, I've just gotten through the first wedding in my family in a month (if we count extended family it is the second in two months). That means my work load has dropped by at least a third. The emotional drama load has dropped by at least half. Perhaps with other weddings the climax comes with the big event--but for me it has been ebbing off since the first big event.

Second, my man has officially moved into our apartment. Most of the emotional drama we've experienced apart from the Other Wedding has been because it was extremely difficult for his very large and loving family to emotionally release him. While I'd rather in-laws that are absolutely in love with their son/brother to ones that disown or hate him, the releasing process was rough on all of us and I'm relieved that he has finally made our new home ours.

Third, most of our stuff (both his and mine) is in the apartment now. I still have basic living things at home, but we've both moved the majority of our things. That's one thing checked off the to-do list.

Fourth, the wedding is mostly paid for now. The next couple weeks will be tight, of course, but the major things are out of the way.

So, I expect a slowing down. Not that I expect idle moments, just that things should ease off between now and the wedding--and then

VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah. I'm looking forward to the honeymoon.

In case you couldn't tell.

:-P

Advice

I find it interesting how many people weigh in with advice when young ladies (and I assume young men as well) are about to get married. Advice on finances, sex, birth control, home organization and a million other things. Most particularly, though, sex seems to come up. My dear fellow bride, Amanda, was telling me last night about a recent advice-giving that she had received on this very topic. My response?

"Get used to it, beautiful!"

I have a strong suspicion that the advice giving only starts with the wedding planning. Once we are married there will be more people weighing in with, "So, when are you planning to have a baby? Will you have children right away?" Once the first baby is here the advice will be on how to raise children.

Now, let me be clear--I have NO PROBLEM with advice. At all. I actually really appreciate it because I know that the people giving the advice are giving it because they care. And, for that same reason, I'll probably be a big advice giver also. However, there are very few topics people are inclined to advise me on that I haven't already considered and formed a scriptural filter to view it through. I've also probably discussed the topic with my man, and we have formed a second filter of how we intend to apply the Biblical guidelines. If the advice makes it through those two filters, I will consider and likely take it. If it falls without I will politely smile and nod, while appreciating the intent.

The Latest from WPC

You know life is busy when six weeks pass without a word from yours truly. I had three weeks back to back that I was too busy to think--or to sleep. I still can't remember what happened that first week, I just remember that it was a madhouse around here.

What I looked like for three weeks--attached to my steering wheel!

The second week a friend of mine was in town, and ALL the wedding stuff happened at once. She was shocked at my pace of life. Of course, life is always faster with company, and a side effect of her visit was that my regular bedtime went from elevenis to two or three. My rise time, of course, didn't change from the usual 7. I've never been good at sleeping in. I think Ashley was glad by the end of the week to board a bus with 50 kids and only herself and two other adults. She said life would be slower as a Camp Counselor than it had been as Assistant Wedding Coordinator. I don't know what she was talking about. :P

Ashley and me at Logans

The third week is also hazy, as by that time I was extremely sleep deprived. I could go back and look up my daytimer to see what was going on, but I really don't want to. I do know that the bridesmaid party happened that week.

And then this week I crashed. As in, totally. I only had a few "absolutely need to do for the wedding" projects, and most of those haven't been done or have been done abnormally slowly. I've even slept more--several times this week I have taken naps, and not the 15 minute "power naps" I usually take. I'm talking about serious hour-and-a-half to two hour naps immediately after work. Followed by an early bedtime.

It's amazing how much good a bit of sleep can do. I've even voluntarily woke up before 7am the last couple mornings, which means my body is finally getting back on schedule. I am still feeling a bit of wedding-planning burnout, but it's getting much better. I think by next week I'll be good to go.

Which is great, because next week is my brothers wedding.