Crowd of Dreams

My Sister in Law, Grace, challenged me in our accountability call to start writing again. "If you don't want to write your own blog post, at least join in on Five Minute Friday. You can do that."  At her prodding I agreed, although hestantly. Five Minute Friday has come and gone at least once since then, but here is my addition, late though it may be.

Here are the rules:
 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you and leave an encouraging comment.

 Life has changed tremendously--gone places I could never have foreseen just three months ago. We have a backyard now, and a dog, a sweet not-so-little playhouse on stilts and nearly an acre of land to call our own. And then there is the baby--a sweet little girl due to make her way into this world in May, sometime around Mother's day (wouldn't that be a great day to celebrate her birth!).


I've had so many thoughts crowding through my mind lately. Dreams that used to be out of reach are solidly within the realm of possibility. Projects I've looked forward to are now achievable. My mind goes a mile a minute jumping from one thing to another. A garden? Some animals? More quilting? A mini orchard? Permaculture? Having company over just because it is more convienant now? Maybe even a tea party or two?

It all feels urgent as the countdown to baby begins in earnest. About 10 weeks left before my life takes a permanent change, before I have a newborn to take up most of my attention. If I want to start something new, it is either now or not for awhile. I felt the pressure of dreams waiting to be released into reality, dreams I'd waited so patiently for now begging to for freedom.

I wrote them all down--these thoughts crowding through my head. I took each one captive with a pencil and bound it with lead to paper. It all seemed so reasonable as each dream spoke to me--I can do all of this! Was my thought as I researched and studied. And yet, there are a dozen things on that list. More than one a week to do before the baby comes, and the smallest thing on the list involves potty training a toddler (and house training a puppy? I should put that down also...). Ha!

So, the crowd of dreams and thoughts are held at bay, chained to their paper. I step back and realize that even making just two or three of them a reality in the next couple months will be a major accomplishment. I am free to say "no" to the others for now. Or, perhaps, not "no" but simply, "be patient for just a little while longer."

As I think on these dreams, this crowd of self-drive and enthusiasm that I've just said "no" to, it occurs to me:

Perhaps the most freeing word in the English language is "No."


(definitely more than five minutes. There were diapers. And meals to put away. And two toddlers--of the human and canine variety--that needed naps. But! I did it. And that's the most important thing.)

Dear newlywed

I was recently asked to write a blessing for a newlywed. As I started writing, I realized what was going down on paper was the same prayer I've prayed for every newlywed wife since I was married. I am sure it is the same prayer that was prayed for me. I'm saving it here.

Dear Newlywed,

my prayer for you is that you will become a wonderful wife and mother. I pray that you will learn to love your husband in a way you can't even imagine now (you probably think I'm silly for saying it's possible to love your hubby even more than you already do. That's okay. I thought the old married people were silly for saying it also). Love done right only grows with time. Your heart gets bigger.

I pray that the often difficult lessons of honoring and respecting your husband would come easy to you. Sometimes it's okay to just let something go, to choose to honor your husband instead of choosing to be right. I can't tell you why or how this works, but I can tell you it does. Remember that the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit is valuable in the sight of God.

I pray your marriage will be fruitful, and that your little ones will be the light of your eyes and joy of your heart. I pray that even when you are exhausted in a way you truly can't imagine now, you will understand the joy that parents can't put into words. How looking into one tiny face, seeing one tiny smile just for you, and suddenly it's all worth it--in a way you can't describe to anyone else. I pray that the joys of motherhood would be fully, wholly, completely yours.

I pray that you and your entire family would become masters of forgiveness--of each other, and of yourselves. Families fall apart over bitter, harsh words. They thrive on forgiveness. Remember to forgive yourself also--for not being perfect, for not being the wife or mother that you thought you would be. If you don't forgive yourself, you'll take it out on your family. That doesn't work (been there, done that). When you are frustrated or upset with any member of your family (even yourself), take it to God. He knows all about it, and it just waiting for you to come to him with it.

I pray that you remember every single day that you are the one that sets the tone in your home. If you are happy and cheerful, you will have a pleasant an inviting home. If you are sad, exhausted, and overwhelmed you can be sure that your family will seem stressed as well. Your husband may be the head of your home, but you, dear wife, are its heart. That is more power than you know.

I pray that you'll remember Who loves you with an everlasting, unending, phenomenally beautiful love. I pray that you will strive every day to throw yourself onto His loving-kindness, and remember that his mercies are new every day.

I pray that your marriage would be a beautiful and that will bless the world.

Coconut Flour Pancakes

Dear Tirza,

In the last couple months I have introduced you to the wonders of pancakes. Because I have decided not to give you gluten grains for awhile, I had to be creative when it came to baked goods. When I stumbled on a recipe for coconut flour pancakes I knew I had to try it and see how you liked it. It was a hit!!

Now I make a batch of these every few days and store them in the fridge or freezer. You eat at least one each day, and often two. I usually have about three. I'm glad you like it so much, because these pancakes are fairly high in protein, and have lots of good healthy fat.

5 eggs

1 cup organic apple sauce

1/4 cup coconut milk

1 tsp baking powder

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 cup coconut flour

Add ins of choice (your favorite is blueberries)

1. Heat griddle or skillet to medium heat (I lean toward a medium low heat, and let them cook longer)
2. Whip eggs together until fluffy (don't skip this step to save time! your pancakes will be flat!)
3. Add all ingredients except add ins and coconut flour. Beat together.
4. Add coconut flour and mix well. Gently stir in any add ins. Allow mixture to stand for a minute or two to thicken.
5. Make small pancakes on the hot griddle--I make them about the size of my palm.
6. Allow to cook for several minutes on both sides. Coconut flour pancakes cook slower than wheat pancakes. I cook for at least 5 minutes on the first side, but you will need to pay attention until you get the hang of it. If you try to flip the pancake and it's still gooey--that's too soon. Give it a bit longer.
7. After cooking on both sides, remove from griddle and enjoy!

Usually I give you your pancakes plain or with a bit of applesauce on top. My favorite way to enjoy them is either with homemade strawberry jam or maple syrup. You love the sweetness of mommy's, but I'm careful about your sugar intake so for now you just get occasional tastes of mine. So far we're both happy with the arrangement.

The recipe is based on Wellness Mama's recipe, and Fluffy Coconut Flour pancakes by Nourishing Days

14 months and counting

Dear Tirza,

You are 14 months old now, and growing up so fast! It really is hard for me to believe how far you've come, and yet also hard for me to remember what life was like just a few months ago. You've been crawling for awhile. You can stand, but not walk (unless you are holding my hand). You took a first step the other day, but when you realized what you'd done you sat down right away.

We dance a lot. I turn on big band or Celtic music, and we dance jigs all around the house. You stand up and bounce tentatively up and down then clap your hands. You sometimes turn circles on your hands and knees since you can't stand and twirl like mommy yet. When we visit your grandparents or great grandparents, you'll turn on some of their musical toys and dance there. The more people watching the better.

As I sit here on the floor you are crawling in circles around me. You stop every so often and grin at me, and I give you a bite of my breakfast. I've given you more than a bite, really. You've eaten it all. Two eggs, two tiny purple potatoes, and a couple onion slices in a scramble. Then two coconut flour pancakes with strawberry jam. I did manage a few bites, but you ate most of it. Your appetite constantly amazes your aunts and uncles--Arthur and Christiana in particular are impressed (and fairly convinced that eating is the ONLY thing you do).

One of your latest discoveries is Inside and Outside. You are fascinated by taking smaller objects and placing them inside larger objects. One of your favorite toys is a glass vase that you carry around with you. Any small objects like coins, bobby pins, pens and/or pencils get placed in the vase. Then you ask me to empty it, so you can fill it again. You are equally interested in pulling things out of drawers. If we leave the Tshirt drawer open, the clothes will be pulled out. If I'm not watching, the diaper drawer is emptied. I like to see how much you are learning.

Sometimes you help me around the house. Last week you tried to help me unpack groceries. You decided that it would be less work if we skipped the unpacking, putting away in the fridge, taking out of the fridge, and preparing steps, and instead go straight to the eating. I got the blackberries for you so I didn't mind you eating them, but unfortunately I still haven't figured how to get the stains out of the carpet. Oh, well. The picture is adorable. And you really did mean well.

Another late development is that you like us to read books to you. You thought of that on your own, because I never was good at reading to you when you were younger. You will come to your daddy or I with a book in your hand, and ask us to read by actually opening our fingers and wrapping them around the book. I see you crawling over here with a copy of Hermie the Wormie (or something like that) and a copy of Zack's Alligator. Looks like it is time to  wrap this up.

I love you, dear.

Your mommy

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Bringing up Bebe

When American journalist Pamela Druckerman has her first baby while living in Paris she hadn't even considered differences between American and French parenting styles. In fact, she hadn't even decided if she liked living in France. As her child began to grow she started to notice differences in the ways her neighbors raised their children. She became more intrigued with every new observation. Pamela determined to find out what the parents of these children were doing that got such radically different results, and share it with the rest of the world.

Many of the differences she noticed were in extreme contrast to what we are used to seeing in the States. The children in France often slept through the night by 3 months old, while in America this does not usually happen till one year old. French children have a wide variety of foods they eat, while in America it is common for a child to limit their diet to one or two food groups. French children tend to be independent much earlier, where it is common in the US for parents to be overly involved.

When Pamela asked questions she often got blank stares. There are not various "parenting methods" in France as there are in the states. There is only one parenting method, and it is so common that the French don't even realize they are  using a method. This style is simply the way parenting is done.

When I first heard of this book I thought the premise was interesting, but I assumed it wouldn't have an effect on my parenting style. I assumed French parents would be different, but not the kind of "different" I choose to make a part of my family. All I expected was an interesting diversion. I was very wrong.

Halfway through I began taking detailed notes. After the fourth chapter I began implementing the method in two areas, and immediately began to see changes. My daughter is now sleeping through the night, and eating at regular times throughout the day. I had resisted this change because I wasn't convinced it was best for her. However, the change was so fast I believe she was waiting on me all along. I just had to ask, and this book showed me how.

Bringing Up Bebe is solidly in my top three favorite parenting books. It doesn't have lists of stages or charts of "what is normal when Baby is ____ months old" but it does contain a parenting mindset that can be a huge help as a baby is added to the family. I would recommend this book to anyone who is interested, but especially to new (or semi-new) parents.

My favorite Hat

A door stands to the left of our kitchen entryway. It opens to a small closet of a room, empty but for a single tall bookcase at the back. The bookcase is filled, but not with books. Each shelf is home for a handful of unique and beautiful hats. My collection is already extensive, and each year I add several more. 

My hand reaches automatically to the middle shelf, but as I do I accidentally knock a hat from the shelf just above. It falls to the floor and I stoop to pick it up. I brush it off and look fondly at the woven straw brim. It is simple, but elegant—trimmed in ribbon and flowers. Proper, but still spunky, it reminds me of white dresses, summer days and church picnics.

I gently return my church hat to the top shelf, and as I do the one beside it catches my eye. It’s completely white and styled complements of the 50’s. It looks brand new, but I know daily wear has left it even more comfortable than the first day I tried it on. A white feather floats on one side, and netting swoops over the front like a veil. This is one of my favorite hats, maybe because it reminds me of the day I brought it home—my wedding day. 

A soft smile touches my lips, but I must continue on to the hat I came for. It’s one of the newest hats in my collection, but also shows the most wear. I lift it off the shelf and eye it critically. A spitup stain peeks out of one side, and is that a pickle smear on the other? I've only owned this hat for eight months, but I love it. It’s the hat I was given the day my daughter was born. 

There is no time to linger over the other hats, although many are well worn and well loved. My daughter peers into my little room, wondering where her playmate has gone. I lift the final hat and place it on my head. For the next few hours I am mommy.

**

Written in January as part of my husband's 30 Days of Writing Prompts. He will be publishing the book next month, so stay tuned for more!